Gabriel Byrne cannot swim or dance. However -

This post contains spoilers for the film "Into The West."

So: To look at the front cover of this DVD one could be forgiven for thinking that this was a film that Walt Disney would have been more than comfortable in making. He could have added a catchy musical sound track and lots of glamourous costume changes, plus a great deal more love interest between the male and female leads, and probably thrown in a cute mongerel doggie trotting amiably behind the heels of the fabulous white horse that is central to the story. And - oh, of course. Much better dance sequences!

But, ahh, no.

In fact, I found this film quite hard to watch. I was/have been in "Gabriel Byrne! Tragic/Romantic Hero!" mode, having watched him recently in such gems as "Buffalo Girls" (sob, weep) and "Little Women" (pant, blow) so, it was a wee bit of a shock to see Gabriel pour himself into this hugely different role with all his usual vim and vigour, and quite distressing results for this viewer.

Oh, I know that I am still very much a novice in the world of GB's films, and many of you will be nodding sagely, sucking the air in through your clenched teeth and saying, "Ooooh, Lozzie, Lozzie. You wait till you see [insert film name here]!"

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Gabriel plays John "Papa" Reilly, a Traveller who came to the 'settled' life about eight years ago after his wife died in his arms whilst giving birth to their second son. His wife had been refused admission to the hospital on the spurious grounds that she was a tinker.

Settled life does not agree with Reilly: he drinks himself senseless every night and puts almost no value on himself as a human being. He is subservient and passive - or, aggressive at the worst possible times - and very, very depressed. The settled world seems to bear down on him all the time, trying to get him to be what he is not. He feels he no longer belongs in either the settled or the Traveller worlds, and tries to lose himself in the drink.

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It isn't easy for someone with Gabriel's obvious physical attributes to make himself look unattractive. But to give him his due, he does try.

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And on several occasions, fails completely. *Sigh*

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I found it hard to watch Gabriel's character being frightened,

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and brutalised by authority figures,

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and generally having such a terrible time of it; unlike in Miller's Crossing where (in spite of the scene where Byrne's character is taken into the woods to find the corpse of the man he killed), one always felt that he would come out of it OK. There is no such safety net here. Reilly has so few resources with which to fight back - he can neither read nor write, he has no job and very little money, he is an alcoholic and is still very much in mourning for his wife. He functions so poorly. It's hard to watch.

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Mmmmmm. Eyelashes. Mmmmmm.

So, what could have been a sweet little tale about two spirited lads and a fantastic white gelding traipsing gaily across the glorious Irish countryside instead became a gritty and emotive discourse on the nature of bigotry, poverty and illiteracy; a story about bereavement and isolation, about grief and longing and fellowship lost. I know I was supposed to be concentrating on the beautiful tale of how the children went on a journey and found themselves, and on how their father also came to a kind of peacefulness at the end, too. But it was quite a harrowing ride.

Let's lighten the mood, then.

Gabriel's character does get to smile. Twice, to be exact. Well, OK - maybe two-and-a-half times. And the two main times are both when he is with Colm Meaney.

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Even though the bastard makes him dance. I tell you, there has to be a moratorium on Gabriel Byrne Dancing. It should not be allowed. It should be banned. There should be some kind of international law about it. It's an offense against nature. It's a contravention of my human rights - it's .. it's .. it's ...

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- it's ... oh, thank God. It's over.

He also gets to smile at Ellen Barkin when Colm Meaney's character rolls over in his sleep and gives him a cuddle. It's quite romantic, really.

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Now, Papa Reilly may have a few problems finding the heart of his courage. But I have to take my metaphysical hat off to Gabriel Byrne in this fillum. He really gives it every bloody thing he's got. I'm reliably informed that the man cannot swim. Did this prevent him from charging into the turbulent surf, all in the name of cinematic drama? No, it did not.

This one's for a special friend of mine, and all I will say is - "Tiptoe, through the tulips, through the window, come tiptoe through the tulips with me - "

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Now this - this IS Gabriel Byrne -

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- probably shouting to his wife that his fookin' ballox will be fit fer nuttin' by the time he's done in this freeeeezin' whater. You can't tell from this shot but he was, in fact, up to his shoulders in the sea at this point and I have HUGE admiration for a man who can do that whilst NOT being able to swim.

This is not Gabriel Byrne.

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But this is.

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I've decided not to reveal what happens in the last scene, in case you haven't seen the film yet. I only hope that I haven't put you off it, by saying what I have. It's a great film. Very entertaining, family viewing, with some classic comedy moments, a good script and some beautiful scenery. And his character doesn't die. And, although he doesn't specifically get the girl, the viewer is left in no doubt that he is now READY to get the girl again.

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